Ashes 2019: England v Australia second Test, day one start delayed – live! | Sport

Raymond Reardon has some helpful advice for us all. “The internet site for St John’s Wood needs updating as it currently states that sunrise was supposed to be 5.45am. Also Geoff, if you are delayed at the liquid mood enhancer parlour today, also note that the last 113 bus today leaves at 0.38am Thursday.”

I’m going to be sleeping under the desk, aren’t I?

Dave Adams has sent me a screenshot of the radard. “This doesn’t look too clever, but it’s moving slowly eastwards. Play by 14:30 is my super-optimistic shout…”

It’s interesting, the English use of ‘not clever’ for something just being not good. Especially inanimate things or events or situations. It confuses my brain a bit because my understanding of cleverness involves intent. This is your linguistic thought for the day.

And that’s it. Your exciting tour through the Lord’s shop. Don’t say you haven’t got your money’s worth today. (I am expecting a kickback shipment of purple sparkly cricket balls to land at my door shortly.)

I have been off round the ground again to curate some Top Quality Online Content™ for you. One moment.

Of course you can still email me or tweet me if you like. Let me know your rain stories. What’s the most fun you’ve had during a rain delay? What was the least? What was the smartest or stupidest time that you played the rain card the night before?

One thing I’ve learned a lot about this summer is umbrella etiquette. In Australia, it has to be raining for about three days straight before more than 0.1% of people remember to bring an umbrella out of the house. Here, the first drop of precipitation and bang: up go a forest of brollies. Then you have to work out footpath spacing and walking trails as everyone has a wider profile, and for the taller people among us there are a lot of metal spines at eyeball height. And yet it seems to work. People naturally take slightly wider berths and the umbrellas zip seamlessly between one another like a water ballet. It’s a wonder to watch.

Ok, I’ve taken a tour on foot around Lord’s to bring you the latest. It is… wet. Not Noah wet, but maybe a half-Noah. There were more people leaving the ground than coming in, which frankly seems like good common sense. The ones remaining are some hardy Australians who have nothing better to do because none of our Prime Ministers is being deposed right this minute. The covers are on tight and the runoff hoses are pouring torrents out near the boundary line. Let’s settle in for more of the same.